Hilda Mejia Abreu: Caregiving for my Mother

Associate Dean, Veterinary Medicine & Office of Admissions, Student Life, and Inclusivity 

How long have you been engaged in caring for an aging parent? 

Since 2019 (3 years) 

What types of lessons have you learned or skills you have gained or strengthened through caring for an aging parent? 

I can do it with support from colleagues, my boss, and my family.  I have learned to multitask and to be ambiguous.  

Do you use those skills or lessons at work? How? 

Yes, often.  I try to apply my lessons to colleagues who might be dealing with difficult challenges at home. 

What value does/do care for an aging parent have in your life outside of work? 

It gives my life purpose and so important to take care of those who took care of us when we could not (as children). 

What is the most rewarding thing about caring for an aging parent? 

I learned so much from my mother and her love for me. 

How do you prepare for caring for an aging parent? 

We must be organized and understanding.  

How does caring for an aging parent compare to other goals you have? 

My career is in good place but stagnate because of my commitment to care for my mother. 

How does caring for an aging parent affect your relationships inside or outside of work? 

I tried to take vacation at least every 3 months to travel and provide care for a mother with dementia.  There are 7 brother and sisters, and we reside in different states, we organized a schedule, and each have assignment at least one or two weeks per month to give care takers a break. 

Is there anything else you would like to share about caring for an aging parent? 

One must have a caring and compassionate attitude with a dementia patient.  It is exhausting but keep on telling myself, I would not have it any other ways.  The beauty is that I can still relate to my work, which is a great feeling. 

What advice do you have for others who are caring for an aging parent? 

Try to exercise radical self-care.  For me, my radical self-care includes horse riding, yoga, Pilates, and spending time with family. 

Do you have other things that you want to mention? 

I think of taking care of my mother as an honor. Grateful that my supervisor understands my challenges and has been very good accommodating my use of vacation to take care of an ill parent.